Monday, 1 March 2010

Brand gang

When the money's over... you still can sell the reputation.

Amidst dust of crisis, bailout storms and financial tsunami, strange things happen. It may be, that some of the mots glorious automakers will try to earn a tremendous without really tremendous work (or, not working at all).

Koenigsegg Agera is a much awaited successor of CC model lineup. Yet, this succesor is none of success as there seem to be nothing to await. It's just an old CC with softened light design. Such liftings are made constantly by most manufacturers without announcing „a whole new model”. Why would we believe Mr Koenigsegg, then? It just doesn't look right, to pay the new price for an old car — and this is the situation we meet here.

From the Antisweden (San Cesario sul Panaro, specifically) comes the next supercar of 2010. Automobili Pagani from depths of Italy is readying a new sportsrocket now. Again, it will be extremely powerful and extremely rapid. Again, this revelation is only a rejuvenation. Mimicking Agera's case, the new Pagani appears to be an old Zonda car with a small design retouch. Not too good, considering 6-digit price tag.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with redesigning an old scheme; such updates are normal not only in motoring business. It's only a bit faux pas, when you make an update, praising (and pricing) it's not.

Monday, 23 November 2009

Ronin LFA

The new Lexus is like an ancient japanese warrior without a lord. Powerful, prepared, but with a desperate lack of purpose.

Millions have waited for the Lexus's real sportscar, while the luxurious (and lexurious) coupes SC300 and SC430 didn't fullfill anybody's expectations. They were comfortable, but boring — an unforgivable disadvantage for anything engined.

Years went by; the superlexus finaly has gone into the flesh. And what? It does not fulfill, it does not disappoint. Who will buy it, then? It's not an easy question.

The new LFA model is extremely expensive, but not really pretty nor original. It does a lot of things brilliantly while not having any records or peculiarities. It looks like a heavily tuned Toyota coupe — but its quality level forces us to compare it to the best of the best. This Lexus could rival anything, but it's hard make specific choice, what. And why.

Japanese cars use complicated production formulas and complicated engines. In this one, though, the most mind-gobbling part is a primary concept. It's a car hard to describe. Perhaps, it'll find buyers, that are hard to describe. In a 7-billion society, there must be some lonely and abandoned LFA-men.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Mercedes SL$

It's not the oil, or hydrogen, nor steam. The most opulent automobiles are money-powered.
With retro cars, you ave always the same problem — how to write brilliantly about something, that was fully described dozens eons ago? When the point of a car is to honour the old one, the old one is the only important. You can test drive a Ford GT from 2003, you can even make a photo. But the truth is, there's no real car on it. It's only a shadow — of old GT40 from 1966 LeMans, of raw 60s design
— and nowadays greed.

With the new 2010 SLS model, Mercedes-Benz took this paradigm
to the highest level ever, copying not only their evergreen SL Gullwing racer, but the modern Merecdes sportscar, too.
As the high-tech should stay, as well as safety and ride quality, it's no racer and no 60s-style. And when the SLR engineering was ready and still fresh, the wise accountants had to do only one thing. And they did it.

As a matter of a fact, the new SLS is only an old-and-sold SLR.
It is clear to see, that with the slightly new (and retro) design they will sell the same car twice.

They say, that cars are not meanings of transport — that there's some spirit of freedom and enterprise in it. Yeah. We have an strict conclusion now — a car that is only a name and a price-tag, both equally impressive, but idle.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

McLaren F-Word

We're only in it for money.

To build the second McLaren supercar, is the most fascinating and aspiring task in motorization since... the first McLaren supercar. The ever famous Macca F1 is „the most” in everything, and covers more 12-year old' walls than most superwomen of its era. Most, most, most. That's, what is it.

Now, we have what we wanted. Somebody tried it to repeat the sucess of F1' legend. Since a few days, we can buy our own MCLaren again. But should we?

From the first sight, you see nothing special. But wait! From the second, it's obvious, that:
• it looks like the old Ferrari 430, Lotus Evora and Tesla Roadster (so – it's uglier than any of them apart),
• it has obvious, asian interior,
• it has obvious, sporty engine
It's clear then, that the new MP4-12C tries to simulate old F1 style, but not the old approach. It's a simulacrum — a car, that exist only because of it's predecessor. It would be bought only by stupid people or romantics, that had no money for real F1 in 1998.

All cars made only for money are a disgrace. When such a brilliant design and engineering idea (such as an original F1) is raped in such a way, a F-word is an only proper comment.

Nothing was more looked forward to than a MacLaren F1' successor. Such a tense would be every businessman' dream. Now, we know it was all and only dreams. It is a McDonalds MP4-12C, a fast car for fast-food people.

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Japanese is the new italian.

Two million years ago there was only one way to make a car look. You took it to someone, whose surname ended with „-ini”.

Those slim people with slim moustaches and good shirts made their „disegno” magick and you could just stare and admire – from an steel-nad rubber piece of nothing, a true beauty emerged.

It worked, worked and worked for years. And stopped. Suddenly you realise, that some of the greatest italian cars are made by Germans, Dutch or someone from Nintendo country. Mercedes has gone round, BMW has gone weird, Audi has not gone anywhere. Italians have always a good escape – they can capitalize on their heritage, selling retro design for anyone nostalgic.

And Ferrari, Ferrari did something else. They jump into the future. Sadly, the japanese one.

The new Ferrari 458 Italia looks like it came from a video game. Origami shaped, ridiculously exhausted, it has nothing to do with prancing horse's past. Weird looking front lights clears the way for the future and culture, that is something new here, in Old Europe.

It could be the new Honda NSX and nobody would tell. Where are the days, when it's the Honda, who steals the design (apparently, the first NSX was somewhat borrowed)?

The Italia (the name is the most appeninian part of this car) will be fast, striking, eye-catching and very popular. Is it enough to be a real Ferrari?
In this decade, yes. For the first time ever, the amount of virtual activities outnumbers the real ones. When even sexual intercourse went 2.0, the supercars just follow.

Prancing dragon instead of a horse? It's even a Pokemon, maybe. But every generation has a Ferrari, that it deserves.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Spirit of Enterprise.

Geely GE is not a joke.
Beware, bored, white, educated men!

Being obviously inspirated from the West's best, this amazingly ugly car comes from a beautiful idea.

It was made few times, and as historians teach, will work again anytime. You learn by copying – this is a winner's idea.

Following a master belongs to the spirit of eastern wisdom. When you want to be clever, you go into mountains and find a clever person. When you want to make good cars, you go to Frankfurt and act exactly like people you'll find there. Easy?

Not for the Rolls Royce. They shout, they sue, they chant about law violation. Only one law is violated here, and it's the merciless evolution rule. If RR want to survive, there's no point in complaining about naughty copycats. They must shoot them instead.

One does not win because a car is made with golden tools and it's made 3 weeks each. Fast, doubtless and agile – these are winner's features. Remember dinosaurs? They were Rolls Royces of their time. Now, only a phantom remains.

You conquer what you copy – and Chinese copy only to conquer.

Sunday, 26 April 2009


How to tell Mercedes sportscar from a Ford one? From now on, only by their past.
When petrolheads of world wait for the new Benz wunderwaffe, moaning are those with heads filled with something more.

Following the fashion, we're teased with numerous masked or stylized images, that strips more and more camouflage, as we're getting closer to grande entrĂ©e. The long awaited, mysterious and mythical supercar – a successor of the mighty Gullwing SL classic - is about to emerge soon.

Now, we can admire its interior. The problem is, there is nothing you can admire there. Apart from quality - which will be probably brilliant (what means normal in this price range) - it loooks like most of the american dull, symetrical and plastic designs. It's definitely not, what word heritage what invented for.

Mercedes SLR, which is now the fastest and most crazy Benz, had this problem too – what you could find inside, was amazingly similar to Daewoo Matiz concept designs. Which is just a hour of vomiting. The SLS design is, in similar way, full of modern, PVC Ford Mustang. It's a crisis, really.

A new dream car? It's more to wail than wait for.